Do Love & Marriage Really Go Together Like A Horse & Carriage?
Not for everybody. In fact, in many cases, the way a person falls in love is quite different from how they commit to marriage. This leads to difficulties, as most people will fall in love with the sort of person that turns them on, but who isn’t suitable to marry. After a patchy relationship history, they may give up on love and decide to marry for sensible reasons, but find it impossible to light a spark in their marriage. What to do? The solution lies in honoring both sides of ourselves—the side that falls in love and the side that commits—from the very beginning of the process. But how do we do that, if we don’t know which sides of us those are, and what they want? Astrology can help, because your style of falling in love and your style of committing are shown clearly in your chart. Your chart shows these two sides of you, what they need and how to keep them satisfied.
Venus is the Lover in You
Venus is the romantic, erotic side of you, the side that falls in love. It’s your Venus that feels all those yummy hormones and brain chemicals that are swimming around in your system when you meet somebody attractive. And it’s Venus that suffers when you “fall out of love” or are rejected.
Venus In Your Chart Can Tell You:
- What qualities to look for in a lover
- What “true love” feels like for you
- What’s in the way of your finding true love
- And how to maintain love over years and years
But Venus is by no means the whole story, because . . .
Juno Is The Mate In You
Juno is an asteroid in the asteroid belt that runs between Mars and Jupiter in our solar system. Juno represents the archetypal mate and in your chart she represents your capacity to marry or commit. She is also the Queen of Heaven, a consummate people-person and matchmaker.
Juno In Your Chart Can Tell You:
- What qualities to look for in a mate
- What you value in a marriage and how you behave when you’re committed
- What you need to be able to hold onto a committed relationship over time
- And what’s in the way of commitment for you—as well as how to solve that.
When Relationship Worlds Collide
For a few lucky people (about 11%), Venus and Juno are in harmony in their chart and sliding from romance to commitment—and maintaining romance while committed—is pretty easy. But for most of the rest of us, there’s some kind of conflict between the two, resulting in situations where:
- You meet somebody you love to date, but the idea of marrying them is inherently repellent, so you have to teach yourself to be attracted to “mate material.”
- You love dating and cannot stand the idea of marriage or . . .
- You would love to skip the awful dating process and just settle down with somebody.
- You keep finding yourself with someone you love and want to marry, but they don’t want that with you and you string yourself along, wasting your time and theirs.
- You feel like a refugee from a movie where the main character has a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. Venus whispers one thing in one ear and Juno whispers something completely different in the other.
It’s enough to drive you crazy. What to do?
How To Integrate Them
Begin by saying a nice hello to both Venus and Juno. Thank them for giving you a way to connect to others at all. Then ask them what they want. When you find out, accept that this is a real need for you and give it to yourself. When Venus in Gemini whispers to you “I really like dating smart people,” you’d better listen, because dumb-but-pretty will not hold your attention for long. When Juno in Sagittarius whispers, “I need somebody adventuresome and free,” don’t go for Mr. Moneybags—he’s too busy worrying about the bottom line to take you traveling.
There is a trick to this, though. When they ask for stuff that’s bad for you (like enticing you toward that really sexy person you know will be a train wreck to date), don’t listen. Instead, figure out the healthy version of that thing and give Venus or Juno that. Instead of getting lost in a codependent mess because Venus in Cancer whispered “I need to be needed,” try looking for someone nurturing and caring but also emotionally independent. You could get lured into an abusive relationship with someone because Juno in Taurus whispered “I want presents!” and you got distracted by bling. Instead, settle down with someone solid who likes to cook with you and takes you shopping at sensible intervals.
I’ll be devoting my next two blogposts to what Venus and Juno might want, according to the sign they are in. You’ll find out what this means for you.