Jupiter And Pluto Go On A Binge
When last we saw Jupiter and Pluto, they were just dragging themselves shakily away from a crash landing. Today we find them in Jupiter’s (very messy) living room, occupying a stuffed chair and outdated, falling-apart sofa, looking at some objects on the coffee table.
Jupiter: Pass me the pipe.
Pluto passes the pipe, after stuffing it with high-grade but indeterminate stuff that could have come from any country or century on Earth. Jupiter takes a big puff, then emits giant, deity-sized smoke rings.
Jupiter: Ah, this is the life.
Pluto: But how about the death?
He’s closely examining some harder drugs that are lying around on the coffee table, along with several baggies of miscellaneous pills and some half-finished bottles of the hardest liquor available.
Pluto: What do you think would happen if we took all these at once?
Jupiter: We’d die.
Pluto: I could swear we’ve already established that we can’t do that. We’re gods. So, really—what do you think would happen?
Jupiter: Dude, you always ask me questions like that. You know I’m not the guy to stop you.
Pluto (smirking): Yeah, leave that to Saturn, the old prude.
Jupiter: But he’s not here!
They give each other the high-five and go back to the drugs and drug-taking paraphernalia.
Pluto: Hey, how about we take all these, then go find a bunch of nymphs—
Jupiter: How about a LOT of nymphs?
Pluto: —and then try to jump out a building?
Jupiter: Been there, done that.
Pluto: Then what’s left?
Jupiter: I really don’t know.
Pluto: It’s a good thing we don’t have mortal bodies.
Jupiter: Yeah, because we sure know how to abuse them. What makes us do it?
Pluto: I’m drawn to intense, edgy experiences and you love adventure for its own sake.
Jupiter: Yeah, but why do you have to be so extremely dark?
Pluto: Can’t help it. I’m the Lord of the Underworld. Don’t really like the sunlight.
Jupiter: I think I’ll find my limit before you do, and that’s saying something.
Pluto (with an evil grin): Race you!
Jupiter: You know I can’t resist a challenge like that! On 3!
Pluto: One. . .
Jupiter: Two. . .
They quickly stuff everything edible into their mouths, chasing it with the alcohol, then smoke everything smokable and snort everything snortable.
Pluto (reeling dizzily):Oh wow!
Pluto: And double-wow!
Eyes rolling up in their heads, both collapse on the floor. Several centuries later, Jupiter begins to stir.
Jupiter (rolling over and smacking Pluto on the face): Hey, Pluto, wake up!
Jupiter: What just happened?
Pluto: Unh. Dunno.
Jupiter: Wake up, Pluto, I’m bored! What can we do next?
Pluto: When my headache goes away, I’ll think of something.
This is part 2 of what will become a 3-part thread about the current Jupiter-square-Pluto.
Part One is here: Jupiter and Pluto Go To Extremes
These two obviously have a lot of potential for stirring up trouble when they get together. But while Pluto’s addictive and self-destructive tendencies tend to be accelerated by the presence of Jupiter, it’s well to remember that Pluto rules not only the lowest lows, but also the highest highs—and Jupiter is capable of accelerating those as well. The final installment of this thread (which will be posted in February of 2011) will look more closely at those highest highs.