(this one’s for the ladies)
This article is dedicated to all the wonderful women in my practice (and in the world) who are looking to share heart, mind and body with a perfect partner they haven’t met yet.
In the last few years I’ve been discovering the most effective ways to use astrology to find exactly the right life partner. Along the way I’ve been hard at work figuring out how to communicate this to the women in my practice who are searching for their partners, so their search can be easier. This has caused many of my clients to confront something really painful. Imagine having to ask yourself the question, “what if the way I’ve been been searching for a partner my whole life was. . . wrong?”
If you’re like most of us, you approach relationships with an ever-growing laundry list of traits you absolutely must avoid in the next partner, a sort of “been there, done that” list. “No more workaholics!” “I can’t stand a smoker.” “I don’t want to clean up after him anymore.” And so on. The list is useful, powerful even, because the list is you asserting yourself, right? But the list is also reactive, based on pain from previous relationships. You might especially congratulate yourself if you’ve learned how to be less reactive about it, if you’ve put attention on figuring out what you want by looking at what you don’t want to avoid. Like this: “I don’t just want to avoid dating workaholics, I want someone who can spend quality time with me, building our bond.” That approach is already several shades better than reactive avoidance. But what if you could just cut to the chase, pick up your own owner’s manual and know what you have always really, truly, authentically needed in a relationship?
Life is like a video game you learn by playing it. But in a video game you get to die several times before you lose the game. In life, you don’t get that luxury. Every failure costs you–a lot. Time, money, energy, hope, heartbreak. Can’t it be simpler? Hell yes!
If you feel that you are getting older and want to get on with partnership, marriage, maybe even children, the possibility that it could be this simple might sadden you as you think of all the wasted time you could have avoided. But bear with me, because you might even find that the perfect partner for you is closer than you think and that your increased clarity makes it possible for him to show up in your life.
The solution is what I’ve come to call the Bad Boy/Good Man profile.
Your Bad Boy is your negative type. He really gets you going. You don’t see him coming and by the time you look in his eyes, it’s already too late to be sensible. You date him over and over again in different forms, perhaps you marry him (maybe even more than once). And yet, you keep coming back for more. Why?
Obviously, it’s because there’s something genuinely there for you. Something you’d rather die than live without, even if it costs you something else really important. But when you date your positive type, you don’t have to choose. The dilemma doesn’t show up in the same way. You get to have all that you want. And the lure of that keeps you coming back. But why is it so easy to end up with your Bad Boy instead and how to spot him before it’s too late and you’re caught?
Funny thing is, in many ways they are the same person. They have a lot in common, but how they express it is different. And what you’ll put up with is different. This is why changing yourself—upgrading your approach to relationship—makes all the difference. When you change into a better version of yourself, your “type” naturally—and effortlessly—changes into the better version of himself. Change yourself and what you attract (and gracefully deflect) changes. This puts you in charge. You’re the driver here.
Your chart lays it all out: Your Bad Boy type and his flip side—your Good Man type. Once you know what it is you’ve been looking for, and you begin becoming the person who will attract that, he will find you. It’s inner work. The bad news is, it’s work. The good news is, it’s inner (i.e. you have control over it).
Are you ready to take that control and the responsibility that comes with it?
Learn more about your own Good Man and Bad Boy profile by getting a Lifelong Love reading.
Contact Jamie now to schedule one!