What do you think of when you think of a “soul mate?” Perhaps that one perfect love that lasts a lifetime? Fairy tales, such as Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, may also quickly come to mind. You probably conjure up an image of “love at first sight,” a feeling that emerges in an instant and engulfs you in eternal romance. You may think of a favorite movie scene, such as the famous moment in Jerry Maguire where Jerry says to Dorothy, “you complete me.” When you think “soul mate,” you may think of your “missing piece” or your “other half.”
I was at a wedding recently where a guest raised a glass and toasted the fact that the bride and groom “complement each other” so well. I also heard a friend say recently that between himself and his wife, he figured “we’ve got all the bases covered.” You may imagine there’s one perfect partner for you out there and all you need to do is find them in order to have soul-filling, heart-drenching love for the rest of your life. Ah, if only it were that simple.
The myth of the “soul mate” could use some deconstructing here. It’s a symbol of extreme joy that often brings extreme pain—the pain of disappointment as we discover that the partner we had elevated to a pedestal doesn’t deserve our worship but is as human and flawed as we are. That there are cracks in that glass slipper.
This brings me to another question: Why is it that the very things you are most attracted to in someone at first become the most irritating later on? Those things that fascinated you and were so alluring. . . with time and familiarity can become the very things you wish your partner would stop doing. And it becomes crazy-making for you as your partner continues doing “that thing he does” ad nauseam and you realize that it’s going to go on for the rest of your life. What a depressing and soul-draining thought!
If you think about it, you quickly realize that relating with someone who is your complement means they are as different from you as it’s possible to be. You handle some stuff, they handle other stuff. You have your areas of expertise; they have theirs. A relationship based on complementarity does carry with it the fascination of relating with someone who’s fundamentally different from you. You get the thrill of being bowled over by their strange, foreign ways. But sooner or later this is followed by the terror of discovering that you don’t really get them and they don’t really get you. And then you feel alone—really alone. And worst, you realize you have allowed someone alien to your ways inside your heart and your life and that even though they know you inside and out (or should from all the time spent with you), even so, they just don’t get you.
What then?
What do you do when you’ve finally met your soul mate and married them. . . and it goes sour? How do you deal with the subjective reality of a soul mate that you felt and that was so… real, when contrasted with the objective reality of the failure of love to endure?
These are burning questions. Find out the answers to them and more burning questions by getting a Lifelong Love reading. Prepare to change your soul mate perspective (and all your relationships, not just the romantic ones) and change it forever—and replace it with something much, much better.
Learn more about the soul mate myth and your chart by getting a Lifelong Love reading.
Contact Jamie now to schedule one!
