Finding Intimacy through Vulnerability and Embracing Change
by Pandora Astrology intern Melanie Rose
Greetings Pandora Astrology blog readers! My name is Melanie and I’m a new intern around here. I thought I’d write a little something about relationships and intimacy and some of the challenges I’ve faced with them. So, if you happen to have Venus in any aspect to Pluto you may find this resonating with you.
Today my relationship is emotionally strong. I trust completely. Most days I feel safe and loved within, so I feel that way in my relationship too. My partner accepts me for who I am and loves me and I him. Going through many challenges together was taxing but it ended up making us stronger and able to be a team instead of opposing forces. I no longer have a fear of losing him.
It wasn’t always this way. Relationships used to be much more difficult and when I discovered that I have Venus in Aries opposition Pluto in Libra, it all became much clearer.
In the past my relationships were run on a lot of fear. There was great passion and intensity but the fear associated with those emotions made me miserable. I would get fearful of losing the person, begin feeling over-exposed, clingy, jealous, dependent, extremely emotional, and I had major trust issues. When I experienced each one of these feelings I could feel myself slipping and losing a grip on everything that I knew to be stable. Then I started to panic that I was starting to panic! How could I suddenly feel so weak and vulnerable when I just felt so wonderful and secure? I was so afraid of losing this person who I loved so much and who knew so much about me. The feelings were confusing and messy, not logical, and they didn’t always make sense. At times I felt sick to my stomach with worry. But slowly I realized that when I’m experiencing uncomfortable feelings it’s a good indicator that something is trying to be healed and/or my intuition is telling me something isn’t quite right.
Learning about my Venus opposition Pluto has taught me that I don’t like to be in a breezy fly-by-the-seat relationship or casually date. I require an involved and intense relationship to breathe! Relationships definitely help me to live authentically and face and overcome many issues within myself. I’m 34 years old now and I’ve been in three major life-changing and long-term relationships since I was 15. I’ve learned a lot through them and continue to learn through the 13 year relationship I’m in now. But astrology helped me and us to really zone in on the difficulties and issues we were having and led us to question our reactions to each other.
The hardest part of changing wasn’t seeing or discovering my faults. It was learning how to recreate myself and to chip away the ingrained thought patterns, emotions and tendencies that I had become accustomed to. With some help from astrology I was able to pinpoint the emotion or tendency and become more aware. I learned to think before I spoke, analyze the negative before I acted, and take a serious look at why I felt the way I did.
Astrology helps me with self-reflection which I think leads to transformation because it can help highlight tendencies I may have with different aspects of life. It’s led me to question many things. The things that were accurate and resonated with me I wanted to change right away. Of course it didn’t happen overnight and it’s a process. But after I started the process I became more aware of some of those aspects that I wanted to change and could catch myself if I saw/felt/heard that I was leaning more into the negative of that aspect and not the positive. It helps aid me on my journey of being the most balanced, loving, giving, compassionate human I can be and I’ll use it as a tool of growth for the rest of my life.
I hope astrology can do the same for you!
~ Melanie Rose