Scorpio and Self-Sabotage
Let me tell you a little story about the phoenix. The phoenix was a mythical bird who built itself a fire, then allowed itself to be consumed by the flames until it died. It then rose from its own ashes, shining and new. Fans of Harry Potter will recognize the phoenix because Dumbledore had one named Fawkes.
To be Scorpio is to be a phoenix. The Scorpio part of us is drawn to experiences which undo us, which destroy us. This is out of a need to burn away everything that is not truly essential, everything that’s dross, everything that’s not us. The key is to train this “death urge” (Freud named it “thanatos”) to destroy our negative personality traits and not our most tender heart.
But can you take conscious control of this ability? Can you die on purpose? Can you hold onto what is essential and be reborn? Can you, with the courage of the phoenix, build your own funeral fire, climb into the flames and endure the pain of your own destruction—on purpose? Can you let yourself be burned down to nothing, trusting that there is something in you so essential that it will continue beyond death? The phoenix offers knowledge of that essence.
Tired of being drawn again and again into the same kind of bad relationship, dead-end job, addictive downward spiral? Scorpio says, “if you’re falling, dive!” Maybe you haven’t really felt all there is to feel there. Maybe the pleasure still outweighs the pain. Maybe you’re dampening the pain with transitory pleasure. Do you need yet more pain before you will allow the thing to be burned away? Then get it. If you don’t reach for it on purpose, it will come to you when you least expect it.
Pretending you’re a victim of the process only slows it down. For Scorpio, sometimes the only way out is through. Embrace the pain, clasp it to your heart, feel every mote of it. Let the sobs rack you at midnight. Let it burn you until only what is essential is left. Then see yourself, reborn, shiny, new, as if for the first time. That’s the gift, hard-won, of Scorpio.
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