Ain’t Misbehavin’—Or Am I? September 2015’s Lunar Eclipse
September’s Full Moon is a total Lunar Eclipse featuring a battle between Vesta in Aries and Juno in Libra. With a retrograde Mercury joining Juno and the Sun in Libra, will infidelities come out? This one could be messy and you’ll have to talk it through. If you want more freedom and self-determination in the relationship, say so honestly and gently. If you want to take the partnership to the next level, say that too. The things you say, as well as how you say them, really matter here.
Details About This Eclipse
Date: September 27, 2015
Time of eclipse: 7:50 PM Pacific Time
Type: total (strong in intensity)
Visible in: North and South America, Europe, Africa, the Middle East, western Asia and Antarctica.
At: 4º Aries
Shadow Agents: Mercury Retrograde in Libra, Juno in Libra, Vesta in Aries
Does It Affect You Personally?
If your birthday is on any of the following dates, you’re most likely to experience this eclipse:
March 20 to 30
June 21 to July 1
September 22 to October 3
December 21 to 31
Remember, not every eclipse touches everyone, but when it does, it’s usually noticeable. A lunar eclipse is likely to bring up strong emotions and to be experienced as a subjective event (unlike a solar eclipse, which is likely to be marked by an external, real-world event). You may notice events happening anytime within the week surrounding the eclipse (up to a few days before or after). The following script is just one possible way it could go.
You hear a knock on the door. You answer it. Juno enters, dressed in the height of fashion, accompanied by the equally well-dressed Sun in Libra, a man with an elegant profile. They sweep into your living room with a flourish. They look quite polished, and both are exceedingly gracious.
Juno: (to the Sun) Is he dawdling again? Where-oh-where is that Mercury?
Sun: He is retrograde, you know.
Mercury in Libra comes in behind them, looking frazzled but with a warm smile. You invite your pleasant guests into your living room to have a seat, and Juno pulls several pairs of knitting needles from a seemingly bottomless bag and hands them to everyone in the room. As you all start knitting together and conversing in the most civilized manner, a loud rapping is heard from the back door of the house.
Juno: (startled) What on Earth?
You excuse yourself and run toward the kitchen where the back door is. The Moon in Aries is outside and is impatiently banging his fists on the door, windows and anything else he can find that will make a loud noise. Vesta is with him. You hear their muffled voices through the door as you enter the kitchen.
Vesta: (to the Moon) Try knocking louder so they can hear you. Have you tried calling them all on their cell phones?”
When you open the door, the Moon falls inside, immediately followed by Vesta, who is wearing a saucy red dress and 1940’s style bright red lipstick.
Vesta: (straightening her overly-short skirt) Excuse us!
Moon: (in exasperation) We must have been waiting outside FOREVER!”
You: (impatiently) It’s been about ONE minute and you’ve made me leave a peaceful knitting circle for WHAT exactly?
Moon: Why, we’re here to cook, of course!
Vesta: (in a throaty voice) You know, heat things up. . . (she turns up the stove full-blast)
Moon: Get a bun in the oven. . . (he pulls out the baking dishes and a mixing bowl)
Vesta: Makin some bacon! (she digs into the refrigerator)
Moon: Here to spoon! (he opens the silverware drawer)
Vesta: Tying you up in apron strings! (she approaches the Moon, who looks pleased at the idea)
You: Oh please, must you? Really? I didn’t invite you!
Moon: Bad luck for you then, because we’re IMMORTAL DEITIES!
Vesta: And if you can’t stand the heat. . .
Vesta and Moon together: . . .get out of the kitchen!
They dissolve into giggles together and end up smooching on the kitchen island. Irritated, you return to the front of the house, where things are a little tense. You seat yourself quietly and take up your needles, while the others glance at you amid the rising clamor coming from the kitchen.
Juno: What on earth is going on back there?
You: (embarrassedly) Oh, nothing really.
There’s a loud bang in the kitchen which can only mean that the pressure cooker has been knocked off the kitchen island. You sigh and continue knitting. Suddenly there’s a buzz from your phone. A text has arrived. Furtively, you read it. It’s from the North Node, who says, “Excuse me. I don’t mean to interrupt, but I heard from my friends in your living room that you seem a bit frazzled by having to harmonize all of your guests. If there is any way I can help you with your party, I can come over immediately.” Heaving a sigh of relief, you text back a grateful, “Yes, please.” Soon there’s a polite knock at the door. You answer it and the North Node is there, wearing an ambassador’s outfit, ready to negotiate peace. She enters your home, shakes your hand politely, and elegantly strolls down the hallway into the kitchen where the Moon and Vesta have been cooking furiously.
North Node: Would you two like to join us in the living room?”
Vesta: That sounds really boring.
Moon: Yeah, I’m really not in the mood.
The North Node grabs them by the collars and they trudge down the hall together.
Juno: (spotting Vesta) I refuse to be in the same room with THAT WOMAN!!
Vesta: How about if I agree to be Second Wife?
Vesta: In some cultures, it’s a perfectly normal scenario.
Juno: This is America, and it’s the 21st century!
Vesta: (deflated, sits down) Why do I always have to hide in the shadows, while SHE (pointing at Juno) gets the valid social position as wife? I am so much more fun than she is! Is it never going to be my turn? (She moans.)
The North Node and Mercury have been whispering in the corner. Mercury pipes up.
Mercury: I’ve been thinking about relationships. . .
Moon: Thinking? What’s that?
Mercury: The answer actually lies in the Gemini Man section of Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs. It’s in the final sentences of that section. (He goes to the bookshelf and gets a copy of the book.) It reads, “the Gemini Man needs two loves. Not necessarily two women. That’s a riddle. If you truly understand him, you’ll know the answer to it.”
Moon: Oh I get it! He needs someone with Borderline Personality Disorder!
Juno: Would somebody please cover his mouth with duct tape? (the Moon looks pleased at the idea)
Mercury: Look everybody, the battle between the Wife/Husband (bows to Juno) and the Other Woman/Man (winks at Vesta) has been going on for centuries. Millenia. You’re just going to have to agree to disagree. AND we’ll have to separate you two.
Vesta: I call dibs on the bedroom!
Juno: I’m perfectly happy here in the parlor. (The Sun whispers in her ear) I mean the (Juno uses air quotes) ‘living room.’ Does it really matter what century and continent it is?Vesta grabs a bottle of wine, then another, then takes the Moon’s hand. Together they loudly sneak off to the bedroom, where more ruckus ensues while Juno and the Sun pretend not to hear. The North Node pats you on the back, while Mercury beams from across the room. Another cosmic problem solved!