To all the Virgo sign types (born between August 23 and September 22) of the world: if you’re ambivalent about your perfectionistic ways, it’s no wonder. On the one hand, your attention to detail means that your work life tends to run in a very efficient way. But on the other hand, your personal life sometimes suffers from your tendency to ignore the forest while hyper-focusing on the trees.
Virgo, when you’re at your best. . .
. . . your fine traits make you a desirable addition to any workplace—you’re hard-working, dedicated, detail-oriented and have a profound service ethic no other sign can touch. Your awareness of what is wrong leads to a very natural ability to put things right. You are motivated to establish good routines and healthy habits—you excel at putting systems into place that run smoothly on their own. And your service-oriented attitude puts the attention squarely where it needs to be—on the customer.
. . . and at your worst. . .
It’s not news that those same traits that you express so well at work can become problematic in your private life. But at what point does meticulousness turn into perfectionism, criticism and maybe even nagging? It may be hard for you to tell because you’re accustomed to the voice of the critic inside your own head, constantly driving you. And your tendency to be in service can lead to self-abnegation and invisibility, leaving you feeling that all your good efforts go unnoticed. When the desire for perfection exceeds the desire to give, Virgo goes off the rails.
Handling Your Virgo Nature
Like Boxer, the horse in George Orwell’s Animal Farm, your credo might well be, “I will work harder!” But that won’t solve every problem. Sometimes what’s called for is to soften and allow others to serve you for a change. This is what you secretly long for, but it’s hard to find competent help, as you well know. Delegation is a skill you absolutely must develop, and that involves finding competent-enough people and patiently training them in the things you do so well—then allowing them to do those things, even if imperfectly, without criticism from you.
Clueing Others In About You
As a Virgo, your tendency is to see what needs fixing, then to take responsibility for it and forget to ask for help. Believe it or not, the people around you have no idea how hard this is on you. Practice being vulnerable by asking for what you need and then letting others give it to you. They would actually be happy to tell you all about the things you do right and how deserving you are. They’d be happy to remind you that everything is not your job, so Virgo: take a break, take some credit, take a vacation. Come back refreshed and renewed, ready to enjoy the supreme satisfaction of the pursuit of excellence.
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When there’s a problem in your life that eludes you, that you just can’t find the solution for, that persists beyond all sense, chances are a quincunx is behind it. Especially if you have the nagging sensation that the source of the problem lies within yourself.
What is a quincunx and how does it feel?
A quincunx is a connection (or “aspect”) between two planets in your chart placed in signs that have absolutely nothing in common. It’s like having two sides of yourself that are so very foreign to each other, you have no idea how to integrate them. The result is that each irritates the other, but not in clear ways that could be confronted and dealt with—in odd, sideways, passive-aggressive ways that bug you but you can’t quite put your finger on.
A quincunx is a part of you (and yes, almost everybody has at least one) that criticizes, nags and compels you from just below the level of consciousness. People who have a lot of them suffer from anxiety, always second-guessing themselves and living life in a stop-start, hurky-jerky way. Quincunxes lead to compulsive behaviors, where you do stuff and then wonder why, but you feel you can’t help it. It’s like a terrible itch, and you scratch and scratch, hoping the itch will go away, but it never does. And you scratch yourself raw.
Here’s an example. . .
Let me give you an example from a session I did recently with a client who will remain nameless (this is being posted with her permission). This young woman is a natural energy healer with her Moon in a quincunx to Neptune. She has many missions in her life, all pulling her in different directions. And even though she needs very much to get focused and make decisions that are good for herself and learn to maintain her own life, she will interrupt everything, stopping on the street if necessary, to help a complete stranger in need. It’s like a drive, a compulsion and she can’t stop herself—she must assist others if they show needs. She does this to the neglect of her own needs and recognizes that she must fill her own well, but has a great deal of trouble doing it while anyone in the world at all is in pain. And she’s inevitably drawn to the neediest ones, who may never be able to give back. It’s as if the barometer in her, the part that knows when to stop giving, is broken.
Now you know about me and my astrology practice that I believe no human capacity is ever broken or destroyed. I believe that we have only to understand all of ourselves—the good, the bad and the ugly—and then we can unlock our potential and bring it forth. Knowing your astrology chart is more than half the battle, because it enables you to clarify the problem and begin solving it. It was clear to me that this client could wear herself out unto death if her problem wasn’t solved.
Resolve it by honoring both sides of the argument
She left my office promising to practice right selfishness. She will learn to take care of herself because she’s been reminded that she is of no help if she is not supported, fed, loved like a precious child by her own inner mother. Intuitively, she knows that this drive to give until she’s empty could kill her if she allows it to continue. Now she sees that two parts of her—the Inner Mother and the Saint—are battling it out, triggering a sensitivity to the needs of others and a desire to help that goes too far. She understands that sacrificing self-care (her Inner Mother) to the needs of others (driven by the Saint in her) is inherently unsustainable. But she left also knowing the importance of honoring the Saint and so she can make a promise to herself that she will go back to giving when she is strong enough to do it without getting lost. This client knows that every human alive is a precious child of the universe. She needed to be reminded that she is also a precious child of the universe and deserves to be treated like one.
She’s got a lot of quincunxes in her chart. We spent almost all of two hours talking about them. Not everyone copes with such complexity, but for those who do, astrology can be invaluable, helping to sort one piece from another and to satisfy each part of you, so it doesn’t need to irritate, bug and interrupt other parts in order to fulfill its mission.
A superhuman gift lies hidden inside every quincunx
Resolving a quincunx can make the itch finally go away and what a relief that is. But making the itch go away permanently is not the point and it’s not really possible anyway. There’s another reason to master a quincunx if you have one. Quincunxes are a tremendous source of power. A quincunx is like a puzzle—when you solve it and you master that solution for even a few sustained seconds, you suddenly gain access to truly extraordinary human capacity. In the case of my client, she has tremendous psychic abilities beyond what should be humanly possible. Once she harnesses them and begins giving that gift to the world—sustainably—there will be no stopping her.
If you want to learn about yourself
and how to live your life in the best way possible,
there’s no better way than taking an astrology class.
Contact Jamie to find out how.
(Here’s another article about quincunxes and how they can wreak havoc with your relationships: One Sign’s Trash Is Another Sign’s Treasure)