Why Are Pisceans Chameleons?
Neptune types* have the tendency to be chameleons, to “match energies” with others, or become what others expect or want them to be. This enables them to blend in anywhere they want to. A Piscean can be the life of the party or fade into the woodwork, as they choose, and may appear very differently to others from one meeting to another.
What makes a child of Neptune this way? Pisceans are impressionable and, being water, will reflect or show the shape of whomever they are around. When a Piscean is young, this trait can be out of control, so that the Piscean has very little sense of himself as an individual. When he is with others, he is discovering the parts of himself that match the people he is around. When he is alone, he may not be sure who he is at all.
As a Piscean matures, she will find that her choice of companions is crucial to her identity cohesion and self-esteem. If she’s smart, she’ll choose companions that are good for her, that bring her a truer sense of herself, rather than pulling her in too many conflicting directions. This is inherently a challenge for a Pisces, since she feels like she could be anyone. As she ages further, she will discover that she really is someone unto herself, and she finds the solid core of herself to identify with, be and express. But this takes time. It starts coming together really well only after age 40. And if by then too many escapist habits are in place, it may never happen at all.
Neptune is a profound god to bow to and requires much of his children. His teachings take time and experience to unfold. Neptune’s natives need time to mature and are late bloomers. This is normal and natural for them. Their peak will be in midlife.
Why It’s Actually A Good Thing
The upside of the Piscean impressionability is that Pisceans are naturally expert in establishing rapport. They do this by intuiting another person’s behavior-, thought- and feeling-patterns and then matching those patterns. This makes for brilliant therapists and healers, great coaches and teachers and absolutely stunning actors. Pisces takes mimicry one step further and can actually, for a time, become the person they are imitating. How do they do it?
A Pisces type will bring to the fore whatever part of himself matches whoever he is talking to and deemphasize parts of himself that don’t match. In doing so, he can take the form of an ideal person the other is dreaming of. A Piscean usually doesn’t realize he is doing this and frequently his motivation, at least initially, is enthusiasm for the other person. Another part of his motivation is to avoid the other person’s judgment and to enjoy and share the pleasurable feeling of merging with another by understanding them from the inside. This creates rapport and engenders trust in the other person, because the Piscean is willing to walk a mile in their moccasins and in fact may already be doing so without being asked.
Loss Of Self And Its Repurcussions
Unfortunately, this is exactly the way a Pisces person can lose themselves in others. Taken too far, this matching and merging creates a false sense of connection. The connection is false because it is based on a temporary arrangement of personality parts, and will often result in a backlash when the Pisces (belatedly) discovers they feel stretched out of shape and decides they’ve had enough. Then the Pisces will snap back, sometimes strongly, angrily asserting their selfhood and boundaries, not realizing they at least partially caused the problem. On other occasions, the Piscean withdrawal is gentle, a mere fading away that is not noticed until it is complete.
This causes unexpected casualties. To a person who has been relating with a Piscean, the whole process can feel as if he is standing on the beach and the Piscean is a large, seemingly gentle wave which flowed up and over them, sending runnels into every corner, crack and crevice of their personality and filling them up. That person who is experiencing Piscean rapport, understanding and compassion may feel seen and understood in a deeper way than ever before in their life. Because the process of Piscean merging is so gradual and so unspoken, it’s easy for that person to take the Pisces for granted. When the Piscean pulls away, it can leave the other person feeling bereft and tugged strongly off-center. The Piscean may perceive this and feel sad but also feel that there is nothing they can do about it while still maintaining their own center.
Many Pisceans hurt the people closest to them with this vague, gentle way of merging and then floating away, leaving a trail of disillusioned lovers behind them. It happens a lot in youth, and then Pisceans figure out what they are doing and stop, or at least do it less.
Live Consciously And Choose Your Companions Wisely
Certainly it is hard to be a Piscean, but that’s no reason to be a victim of your own nature. Being aware of these tendencies is half the battle. The other half is to be responsible in how you handle your connections with other people. Go into each situation knowing that you’re a chameleon and be ready to show more of yourself, not just the parts you think others will like, approve of and resonate with. It is uncomfortable to hold to your center against the tide of other people’s disapproval and disappointment, but it is a skill necessary for building identity and becoming a coherent self.
Choose companions you want to become more like and allow your friendships to shape you into the person you choose to be. Along the way you will learn to be that person, and to be relaxed, unapologetic and unafraid about it. You will never lose your ability to gain rapport with others, but the day will come when you no longer do it unconsciously or compulsively, but do it out of choice from a calm, centered self. On that day, instead of being a little boat tossed on the ocean, you will at last be the ocean, with all its power and vast beauty.
* Neptune types are people who feel Piscean because they have Neptune, Pisces’ ruler, placed strongly in their chart. You don’t have to be an actual Pisces (sun sign) to feel like one.
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